Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

Flying the Airplane is More Important than Radioing Your Plight to a Person on the Ground Who is Incapable of Understanding or Doing Anything About It." -- Unknown

"There seems to be almost no problem that Congress cannot, by diligent efforts and careful legislative drafting, make ten times worse." -- Me

"What the hell is an `Aluminum Falcon'?" -- Emperor Palpatine

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Friday, August 9, 2019

Case of Severe Dumb-Assery

The Springfield Police Department says it responded to a call of an active shooter at the Walmart Neighborhood Market at Republic Rd., near Golden Ave., Thursday evening.

Officers booked Some Dumbass, 20, on suspicion of first-degree making a terroristic threat. Greene County Prosecutor Dan Patterson has yet to file formal charges in the case.

The Springfield Police Department arrived on scene within three minutes of the call. Police stated Dumbass pulled up to the Walmart, where he donned body armor and military fatigues. Police say the man had tactical weapons ... a former firefighter held the man at gunpoint. At that moment Springfield Police arrived on scene and detained the man.
Dumbass apparently was recording his little excursion.

What Dumbass came close to recording was his own death. If the other guy had waxed his ass, given the events of the last several days, the other guy might have gotten a bit of a lecture and then let go.

Missouri is a "constitutional carry" state. It would not be unreasonable to suppose that there would have been some number of armed citizens in the store. Dumbass is extraordinarily lucky that he is not now being prepared for a dirt nap.


DTWND said...


Seems he was testing Missouri's open carry stance. Relatives told him it was a bad idea. Dumbass deserves what he gets.


BadTux said...

Idiot could possibly be charged with "making terroristic threats". Reality is that he's going to be cut loose, under Missouri law it'd be very hard to make that charge stick, but this was still stupid on his part given how uptight people are about folks wearing bullet-resistant vests, fatigues, and carrying military-looking long guns due to, well, two recent massacres involving such.

But I bet you that he's going to be doing it again within weeks, just because that's how these dumbasses roll. The fact that a concealed handgun would be far more effective by providing the element of surprise in the case of an encounter with criminals is irrelevant to them because they're more interested in waving around their metallic penis substitute than in being reasonable.

Comrade Misfit said...

According to Casenet, Dumbass has been charged with 2nd Degree Terrorist Threats, a Class E felony. He has two lawyers.

BadTux said...

Under normal circumstances, the charges would be quietly dropped a few months from now after the case moves out of the news, because it's almost impossible to prove intent if he never actually issued a verbal threat nor unslung the weapon or drew attention to it in any way other than by the act of carrying it in the first place. It depends though upon whether Dumbass left a social media trail indicating that he was going to "make libtards freak out" by carrying a weapon into Walmart. That would prove intent to cause fear and distress, which is the principle concept behind that felony in Missouri law. He might see the inside of a county jail for six months or a year. Regardless, he's out the $20K for the lawyers.

Comrade Misfit said...

Possibly some right-wing troll is quietly paying his lawyers.