Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Ancient Stupidity; Automotive Edition

(This post has been inspired by this one.)

Decades ago, we had relatives visiting. My uncle decided that he wanted to back his new car into the garage. He asked my brother to guide him into the garage-- probably because cars back then didn't have right-side mirrors and he had a car that was the size of a boat.

So my uncle backed his car in. My brother waved him on. (Probably should have mentioned that my brother was five years old.)

It probably went something like this:


Yes, my uncle smacked the garage with his new car.

My uncle was pissed off. My father was even more pissed off at my uncle, and asked, loudly and within earshot of everyone: "What kind of idiot asks a five-year old kid to help park his car?"

I don't remember how much damage was done to the garage or to the car. It was a very long time ago. But it was a memorable event.

And thanks, Murph, for reviving the memory.

2 comments:

dinthebeast said...

I drove a 20' bobtail for years and years, and I was really particular about who I got to back me up. Sometimes you just have to get out and do it yourself. It takes a lot longer, but you almost never miss.

-Doug in Oakland

Stewart Dean said...

I am not an appreciator of Woody Allen, so sue me. But. This is the one, the only number of his that I think is really funny