TSA, Cell Phones and Modern Air Travel

As much as I've bashed the TSA, and as creepy as they are getting, the one thing that seems to be reasonably sensical is their pre-check program. Now, paying $85, giving them a set of your fingerprints and then agreeing to let those fuckers root through your background is a bit much. But here is the thing: Your airline submits your name for advance screening, anyway. So your boarding pass may be coded for precheck.

When you get to the airport, if it has precheck lanes, you don't have to take your laptop out of its bag, you can leave your liquids in your luggage and you don't have to take off your shoes and your belt. Just put your shit on the belt and walk through the metal detector. It's like pre-9-11 screening and about as hassle-free.

If an airline decides to install picocells in their airplanes so that cell phones can be used in-flight, the CEO should be beaten with a sock stuffed with rocks. It's bad enough to sit on the ground on a crowded peopleflugzugtube with six clowns in an eight foot radius yakking loudly on cell phones, but to be belted into a seat on one for four hours in flight while the do would be sheer agony. At least Amtrak has quiet cars, but you can get up and move around on Amtrak. Hard to do on an overstuffed RJ or 737.

People with roller bags, do try to see if the way is clear before you push the bag in any direction. For when you crash you forty-pound bag into someone else's foot, you might be subjected to language not in the spirit of the season.

Hub and spoke travel sucks. Fuck you, Delta, for inventing that concept.