Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Darwin Award Nominee

Sean Cole was among about 15 friends celebrating a 30th birthday on the banks of the Northern Territory's Mary River - home to the world's highest concentration of saltwater crocodiles - when he and a mate decided to plunge in for a swim.

They ignored the signs and verbal warnings from staff at the Mary River Wilderness Retreat and Caravan Park: this is no place to swim.

A five-metre crocodile was waiting for Mr. Cole, in his 20s, an IT worker from Darwin. His friends watched helplessly from the bank as the crocodile grabbed him between its jaws and dragged him under the surface of the muddy river about 4pm on Saturday. He hasn't been seen since.
The staff there warns everyone that they should not go swimming and to stay at least 5 meters from the water's edge, but oh, no, those two idiots had to go and test that. If it happened in this country, I'd wonder if some sort of libertarian attitude of "how dare the gummint tell me what to do" was at work, but given that this happened in Australia, I'd guess that copious amounts of alcohol was a factor.

When I was a kid, I saw a western movie in which one of the bad guys said something along the lines of: "There's only one way a man can enter this world, but there's a thousand ways he can leave it."

That gent in Australia was adding to the list.

(H/T)

6 comments:

montag said...

I wonder if he uttered the required "Hey you blokes, watch this!"

Joe said...

If you will indulge an old man's reminiscences...
Shortly after I moved to Florida, there was an article in the paper about boy who had been eaten by an alligator while swimming in a river, beneath a sign that said, "DANGER: Alligators in water". The bereaved father was suing the State because there wasn't a sign saying "No Swimming".

That was when I knew I wasn't going to live there for long.

zobet3 said...

I wonder if a resident of Darwin has ever won a Darwin award?

Comrade Misfit said...

zobet3, that adds a bit of irony to the story.

rms/pa said...

missionary brats introduction to the jungle south of the canal zone.

what is that?
it is a tree with a gaurdian ant colony, it will kill you.
it is a frog, it will kill you.
it is a tree snake, it will kill you.
it is a croc, it will kill you.
it is a liana, it will kill you.
it is a boa, it will kill you,but there is some good eating there.

etc.

rms/pa

The New York Crank said...

The government put up a sign warning about crocodiles in the water because they know we don't believe the government, so if the sign says "Danger! Crocodiles!" they know we'll think there are no crocodiles. But I checked and found out there really are crocodiles in the water, so screw the lying government!

Very crankily yours,
The New York Crank