Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Dealing with the TSA: Prudence or Cowardice?

I am traveling this week to visit friends and family. I went to a heath-food store and bought some catnip for Jake. He really likes the stuff that they sell over the commercial-grade catnip sold in the pet stores.

But now I have a quandary: I have about four ounces of catnip in a baggie. On the trip out, I limited myself to one carry-on bag (to avoid both the delay of waiting for luggage and the fees each way).

You can probably tell where this is going: Can I trust that the TSA is going to be able to tell the difference between catnip and pot? Yes, I know that the TSA is supposed to care only about the safety of air travelers. But there is abundant evidence that the TSA people think that they are cops and you just know that there is some mall-cop-reject at a checkpoint who is going to think that four ounces of catnip means that he is going to make a huge drug bust. And I don't want to spend a few hours in an interrogation room at the airport (and miss my flights) because some overzealous wannabee cop thinks that catnip is pot.

So I am either going to give it away or ship it home with some other stuff that I bought. Because the TSA wants to keep me safe, right?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anybody who can't tell the difference between pot and catnip is a complete moron... oh wait.

Oldfool said...

TSA and homeland security make me feel about as safe as the Jews felt with the SS in naziland. I now longer feel free as I am about as free as a prisoner with a large cell.
I stopped flying commercially when I could no longer carry my pocket knife or nail clippers.
MacGyver would have a hell of a time without nail clippers.

D. said...

Ship.

I still take my blood pressure wrist cuff (they've stopped getting excited about that), but otherwise I pack as little suspicious stuff as possible.

Too bad sleepers on trains are so expensive and take so long.

w3ski said...

Mail it. US postal service. They have small boxes already set up for you with a flat rate postage.
w3ski

Chuck Pergiel said...

Mail it to your congress critter. Ask him to carry it on a plane next time he flys home.

Anonymous said...

Unless you really want to phone-video the whole mess and put it online AND schedule a later flight? Mail it.

Frank Van Haste said...

Dear Miss Fit:

I concur in full with W3ski and Labrys. USPS Express Mail. "If it fits, it ships!"

Prudence 1, Valor 0

Regards,

Frank

Mule Breath said...

Go an hour or so early and carry it with you. Fuck with the pricks and humiliate them.

Or don't. Just mail it and thumb your nose as they examine the silhouette of your bod. The pricks win whichever you do. TSA sucks.

OldRetiredDude said...

Took the train this year, planned ahead and got a sleeper, it was the best trip ever!