Hazards of Coffee at Work

Seems there was this factory that had an engineer on staff. The engineer was constantly dreaming up new ways to do things, which had the common qualities of being unworkable, unmaintainable and hellaciously expensive. He couldn't design a drinking cup without each one costing ten grand and spilling water down the front of the user.

Besides those endearing qualities, he had the kind of personality that would make even a Quaker have daydreams of committing a bloody homicide.

He loved coffee, probably drank more coffee than anybody I know, other than those who had been in the Navy. He had a coffee pot behind his desk. Or he did until somebody dumped a bottle of ipecac into it.

And before you think of accusing me of that: I wasn't there. Nobody saw me. You can't prove nuttin', copper, see. Nyah.