Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, June 29, 2012

Farming and Predation

Marko is having a little trouble with foxes eating his chickens. A friend of mine buys her eggs from a local farm (really, a "hobby farm") where they have free-range chickens. Or they did, until the coyotes or foxes came shopping for food.

Decades ago, there was a farmer who was running dairy cows. A man lived down the road who worked in town. He had two dogs, German Shepards. There wasn't a leash law in that county; the man let his dogs run free during the day while he was at work. When he came home each day, the dogs were lazing about the yard.

During the day, however, the dogs got into some mischief. One of the things that they would do is go over to the diary farm and chase the cows around the fields. The farmer was none too pleased about that, since agitated cows don't produce as much milk.

The farmer complained to the dog owner, who told him: "Can't be my dogs, they don't chase cows." The farmer thanked the man for his time, apologized for bothering him, and went back to the farm.

Three days later, the dogs were chasing his cows. The farmer shot both dogs with an old .32-20 Winchester that had been passed down from his grandfather. He then fired up his backhoe, dug a trench and buried the dogs. He said nothing to anyone about it.

A week after that, the dog owner came by and asked the farmer if he had seen the two dogs. The farmer said: "Nope, sure haven't, hope you find them. Well, I did shoot two German Shepards last week who were chasing my cows, but they couldn't have been your dogs, because your dogs don't chase cows."

7 comments:

Nangleator said...

...And that was the last time someone suffered a punishment for lying!

Comrade Misfit said...

Thing was, he probably wasn't lying. When he came home from work each day, the dog were in the yard, looking as pure and innocent as driven snow. He couldn't conceive of the fact that his dogs were causing trouble when he wasn't around to see them at at.

Eck! said...

Three words; Shoot, Shovel, shutup.


Eck!

Comrade Misfit said...

No need to shut up, the farmer was clearly within his rights under the laws of that state.

LRod said...

As a dog lover, it breaks my heart that two innocent, no doubt loving pets were destroyed in this way.

As a responsible dog lover, it pisses me off that someone so thoughtless and feckless as to leave their dogs out to run free while gone for the day is even allowed to have a pet.

I don't know what makes me madder. But I'm not mad at the farmer, who had a higher duty (his own stock).

Frank W. James said...

Yeah, well, in Indiana now it's a felony to shoot a domestic animal without the owner's permission.

Yes, the law has a clause in there about 'justifible' shooting of animals causing harm to property and livestock, but 3 convictions in my home county have proved that clause is a 'lie'.

So now free running dogs and cats 'just' disappear and no one says shit...

All The Best,
Frank W. James

Comrade Misfit said...

Back then, in that state, a farmer had an unlimited right to kill, by any means, an animal that was harassing his livestock. I wouldn't be surprised if the law had changed and now the farmers are following Eck's three rules.