Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, September 20, 2018

John Hancock is Watching You (If You Have a Policy With Them)

One of the largest life insurance providers in North America will no longer offer policies that do not include digital fitness tracking.

John Hancock will now sell only "interactive" policies that collect health data through wearable devices such as a smartwatch.
If this is true, then if you are an executive with John Hancock, I respectfully hope that you contract a severe and loathsome disease, one that results in boils on your genitals and pustules on your face, and may you die soon, painfully, and often.

This is a perversion of the namesake of your company, a Founding Father and a patriot, who pledged his life, liberty and sacred honor in the cause of freedom. But now you propose to electronically shackle your policy owners. You dishonor his name. For shame.

Anyone who buys into this is a schmuck and a fool, and that include anyone who uses one of those electronic snitches from Progressive and Allstate.

3 comments:

Sikhandtake said...

I wonder if a market will emerge to have the extra-healthy (joggers, gym enthusiasts,etc) wear those monitors for folks who sign up (perhaps involuntarily via their employer) with Hancock?

CenterPuke88 said...

...and if you break a leg and can’t exercise for a while, your premiums go up? Wondering if there’s any chance a person gets a policy and a Fitbit, starts exercising and has a heart attack, and the estate sues alleging that Hancock caused the heart attack because of a perverse incentive policy.

Eck! said...

Or break a leg doing all that fitness crap is it there fault?
Maybe you drove through a sketchy area following waze, insurable?
IS a marathon fitness or unsafe, flying, skydiving??

Gee they get to know your activities, where you are and what you might be doing.

They pay your for that right... You pay? Stupid! Don't buy in or become the product.

Eck!