Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Friday, February 7, 2014

If You Get Drunk in Texas: What Will Get You Prison Time and What Will Not-- a Quiz

A. Getting hammered and urinating on the side of the Alamo.

B. Getting hammered and killing four people in a motor vehicle crash.

If you guessed "A", award yourself a gold star.

If you guessed "B", not so much.

4 comments:

juvat said...

Now, now, now, let's be honest. The answer for virtually all Texans is both. You only get the get out of jail free pass if you are very wealthy. And given the state of corruption in this country, I'm pretty sure that pass is available in most other states also.

dinthebeast said...

Ozzy Osbourne peed on the Alamo (in an evening gown) and they waited until after his show to throw him out of San Antonio. He was later pardoned after donating $10,000 to the group that runs the Alamo, so I guess it really is a question of how much justice can you afford?

-Doug in Oakland

juvat said...

I'll rest on my statement," you only get the get out of jail free if you are very wealthy". And probably contribute Democrat.

Comrade Misfit said...

Ah, really? A majority of the Lege is Republican. All statewide offices are held by Republicans. Tarrant County is a GOP stronghold.

And the judge is a Republican.

Care to back up your assertion that his daddy had to "contribute Democrat" to get the kid off?