Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, March 4, 2013

When Fiction Starts to Become Reality

A few decades ago, John Varley wrote a science fiction short story called "The Barbie Murders". The case was set in a Lunar colony where all of the inhabitants had themselves surgically altered to look like Barbie.

So it was not just a little creepy to find out that some clown has actually done just that. And that she hasn't been the only one that has tried, just the one that has come closest.

There are times that the planet-killing asteroid doesn't sound so bad...


5 comments:

The New York Crank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The New York Crank said...

Sorry for taking down the previous post. It was infested by typos. I'll try to type it again more carefully:

Over a dozen years ago I wrote a book proposal for a work of fiction – suggesting a plot in which Barbie and Ken – yes, the actual dolls – get into a huge fight and end up getting divorced. Ken's career is ruined while Barbie keeps making a fortune.

No publisher would come near the story. Seems they feared getting sued by Mattel for copyright and trademark infringement. My agent agreed that they would get sued, but insisted that the resulting publicity would help sell a zillion books. Some agent! He failed to mention that I would probably get sued, too, and that, up against the Mattel legal machine, I'd go bankrupt, while he collected 15% of the author's royalties.

So if you ask me, this little girl with the plastic face job is in big danger of getting busted for patent, copyright and trademark Infringement in the first degree. That would give Mattel the right to confiscate her, shred her, and melt down the shreds.

The truth is, being a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World is just too damn dangerous.

Very crankily yours,
The New York Crank

bearsense said...

It certainly is creepy looking..........

Comrade Misfit said...

Except that she is Ukranian and in the Ukraine and Mother Russia, IP theft is where they live...

(As in "intellectual property", not the computer term.)

Comrade Misfit said...

Oh, and on defense work, lawyers get paid hourly. Your guy in NYC probably charges at least four times an hour what I charge.