Sharpiegate Snark

After the Fridge is Nuked, You Can Still Drink the Beer

Yes, beer can survive a nuclear attack. So can soft drinks. The flavor might be a bit off, so there is finally a good reason to have some Coors Light on hand-- it can hardly taste much worse.

Basically, some scientists figured out how to be able to buy and drink beer on the government's dime and time. I have no idea if Brett Kavanaugh's dad was involved in the project.

Your Sunday Morning Jet Noise

Lear 45

Trump Hates LED Lights Because They Make Him Look Orange

I wish that was a joke. But it's not.

“The lightbulb. People said what’s with the lightbulb? I said here’s the story. And I looked at it, the bulb that we’re being forced to use, number one to me, most importantly, the light’s no good. I always look orange. And so do you. The light is the worst.”

Except that the only reason for Trump's orange look is Trump:

Tamzin Smith, a portrait photographer in Rockville, Md., pointed out that Trump’s orange complexion is visible even when he is photographed against white backgrounds. If bulbs were responsible for casting a warm glow, anything white in a photo of the president — including the background, a white shirt, or even his teeth — should also be orange.

“You can see that even when his teeth are white, his skin is orangey-red,” Smith said. “It’s definitely not the lighting.”
...
[Makeup artist Jason] Kelly said it is generally recognized among makeup artists that Trump’s application of bronzer is atypical. “When I see him, I see a line of oxidized bronzer around his hairline,” Kelly said. “The application is like a kindergartner did it.

“Bronzer shouldn’t be applied from forehead to chin. It’s meant to contour the face,” he continued. “Putting it all over is just going to make you go orange.”

Caturday

A friend's cat. The cat is 11.

Because It's Friday

Weapons of War, Beto?

Beto O'Rourke wants to ban "weapons of war".

How about these, Beto?

These were all, at one time or another, weapons of war.

So was this, by the way:

And this:

As far as I know, the first metallic cartridge used in war was the fearsome .22 short, fired from this:

Saying you're going to ban "weapons of war" is intellectually dishonest, Beto. But I suspect you both know that and don't give a shit.

I also suspect that Beto is too young to remember what happened on November 8, 1994.

Good Christians Practice Slavery?

A dozen leaders of a California-based ministry have been indicted by a federal grand jury on charges that they lured homeless people into forced labor with the false promise that they would be provided meals and shelter, prosecutors said this week.

Instead, the authorities said, they were imprisoned in group homes and coerced to forgo welfare benefits and panhandle up to nine hours a day, six days a week “for the financial benefit of the church leaders.

At this point, what's in the story are allegations, of course.

But if the allegations are proven in court, then the defendants should be put into cells and the doors welded.

Brexit Crash-out May Be Interesting

The British government, under orders from Parliament, published the Operation Yellowhammer contingency assessment. It's only eight pages.

Some acronym help:

• HGV = Heavy Goods Vehicle.  AKA lorries.
• BDG = Border Delivery Group.  It's an inter-agency Bristish group that sprang into existence to figure out how to go from essentially no border to a hard border.
• SEM - Single Electricity Market, which serves Ireland, both the Irish and British parts.
• DHSC = Dept. of Health and Social Care.
• DEFRA = Dept. for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.
• HMT = Her Majesty's Treasury.
• DCMS = Dept. for Digital, Culture, Media & Sport
• HO/NSS = Home Office National Security Strategy.
• UKN = United Kingdom Nationals; the poor buggers who reside in or retied to EU nations.
• HMG = Her Majesty's Government.
• DWP = Dept. for Work and Pensions.
• FCO = Foreign and Commonwealth Office.
• BEIS = Dept. for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy.
• NIO/NICS - may have something to do with insurance.
• DA - beats me.
• LA - Probably not places the bureaucrats would rather be than have to deal with this shit.

If you want to know what any of the above agencies, look them up on yer own.

Biggest "No shit, Sherlock statement: "Low income groups will be disproportionately affected by any price rises in food and fuel."

The Musical Stylings of John Hinckley, Jr.

The man who tried to assassinate President Ronald Reagan is interested in getting a job in the music industry, possibly in California, his lawyer said at a court hearing in Washington on Tuesday.

Patti Davis isn't having any of it.