Old Soviet Joke

A guy keeps going to the newsagent: he scans the headlines and then leaves.

The newsagent sees him do this a few days in a row and finds it to be strange behavior, so one day he asks him:

“Comrade, what are you doing? Can I help you?”

“Thank you, comrade, but I’m only interested in the obituaries.”

“But comrade, the obituaries are at the back!”

“Not the ones I am looking for.”

Meanwhile, Jake Tapper has been asleep at the switch, if you know what I mean.

Rewarding Traitors, the Enshittification of Our Government

The Air Force is offering full military honors to a person who shit all over her oath.

The U.S. government is offering military funeral honors for Ashli Babbitt, the rioter who was killed at 35 by an officer in the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol.

Babbitt was a U.S. Air Force veteran from California who was shot dead wearing a Trump campaign flag wrapped around her shoulders while attempting to climb through the broken window of a barricaded door leading to the Speaker’s Lobby inside the Capitol.

Offering military honors to one of the Capitol rioters is part of President Donald Trump’s attempts to rewrite that chapter after the 2020 election as a patriotic stand, given he still denies he lost that election. Babbitt has gained martyr status among Republicans, and the Trump administration agreed to pay just under $5 million to settle a wrongful-death lawsuit that her family filed over her shooting.

Providing military honors to a putschist who was trying to overturn the government as part of Trump's first coup is despicable. The Nazis who died in Hitler's failed putsch also got full honors once his second coup succeeded.

That's the roll that the GOP and the Senile Orange Agent are on, nowadays: Honoring traitors and rewriting history so that treason is patriotic.

Activation Assholes

The rule is that if a National Guardsman is activated for 30 days or more, they are eligible for full active-duty benefits, including Tricare (medical) for themselves and their dependents.

Watch to see how long those guardsmen who were activated this month stay on duty. I'm betting that it's no more than 29 days, because Generalissimo Bonespurs screws everybody in the military, because to him, they are all suckers and losers.

And a reminder:

Your Sunday Morning Rotor Noise

H-34

The Horrors of Fighting Crime in the Nation's Capital

National Guard troops, activated to assist in fighting crime, are spending their days picking up litter with their bare hands, raking leaves and spreading mulch.

Being yanked away from their jobs and families for an emergency is one thing. Having that happen to do yard chores is quite another.

This should do wonders for both recruiting and retention.

Caturday

Bed attacks!

Because It's Friday

The Grifting Engine Continues

You have to know that somebody's beak is getting wet.

When President Donald Trump’s administration last month awarded a contract worth up to $1.2 billion to build and operate what it says will become the nation’s largest immigration detention complex, it didn’t turn to a large government contractor or even a firm that specializes in private prisons.

Instead, it handed the project on a military base to Acquisition Logistics LLC, a small business that has no listed experience running a correction facility and had never won a federal contract worth more than $16 million. The company also lacks a functioning website and lists as its address a modest home in suburban Virginia owned by a 77-year-old retired Navy flight officer.

A multi-billion dollar contract to a home-based small business, yeah, that doesn't stink one bit. [/sarc]

The Navy's Turn to Fluff Trump

The U.S. Navy is reportedly planning a lavish parade of its own after a multimillion-dollar military parade earlier this year left President Donald Trump feeling flat.
...
A new report in The Wall Street Journal has intel from the president’s administration that a do-over parade could be in the works—this time taking place at sea.

Trump told his aides that he was disappointed with the marching in the June event, according to the Journal, and was hoping the Navy could deliver a grander celebration.

The president is reportedly “hoping for a shimmering spectacle with seacraft,” the Journal noted.

"Shimmering spectacle"? Has he seen the rust buckets that pass for the surface Navy nowadays?

Wouldn't it be cheaper to use the West Wing slush fund to buy him some hookers on a regular basis?

Protesting These Down, Here

RULE ABOUT AMERICAN FLAGS: If you burn the fabric part, you're looking at jail. But it you use the pole part to assault a police officer, you get a presidential pardon, praise, and some cash.

— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@mrsbettybowers.bsky.social) August 27, 2025 at 1:19 PM

Trump's Brown Shirts Are Forming

He's setting the stage for having his own SA. No doubt Miller will be in charge of it.

It's pretty fucking scary that he's going to be deputizing the threepers and lunatics like that. But to be fair, Chimpy tried the same thing, only his goons were pretty much yuppies and they weren't parading around in cammies and with masked faces, because they're all a bunch of non-fucking small-dicked cowards.

Trump's Dementia is Showing, For He Probably Thinks Poland Invaded Germany

This was him at his three-hour buttsnorking Cabinet meeting yesterday:

With war, you never know, right? War is very tricky, very horrible, but with war, you never know, things change. People go into war, think they're going to win the war and then they get their asses kicked and they lose their country, they lose millions of lives. Nobody goes into a war thinking they're going to lose. They go in, I'm sure that Ukraine thought they were going to win. There's going to be -- you know, we're going to win, you're going to beat somebody that's 15 times your size.

He doesn't know who invaded whom in February of 2022. He's clearly suffering from some sort of mental defect.

The Rest of DOGE Should Only be Beaten Into Comas

More than 300 million Americans’ Social Security data was put at risk after Department of Government Efficiency officials uploaded sensitive information to a cloud account not subject to oversight, according to a whistleblower disclosure submitted to the special counsel’s office Tuesday.

Whistleblower Charles Borges, who worked as the chief data officer at the Social Security Administration since January, said the potential sensitive information that risks being released includes health diagnoses, income, banking information, familial relationships and personal biographic data.

“Should bad actors gain access to this cloud environment, Americans may be susceptible to widespread identity theft, may lose vital healthcare and food benefits, and the government may be responsible for re-issuing every American a new Social Security Number at great cost,” said the complaint.

This is what happens when you give a bunch of punks who are barely old enough to shave the ability to fuck with the lives of everyone. Kids that are are both arrogant and unable to see the ramifications of what they are doing.

This is why kids are riflemen and attacks are planned by those who know what the hell they are doing. Every one of those DOGE assholes should be fired and prosecuted.

Or give them a reflectve vest, a garbage bag, a grabber and set them to work doing the job they're best suited to.

With the Hell of War They’ve Come To Grips, Policing Up the Filter-Tips

A full busload of National Guard members were seen Tuesday morning picking up trash around Lafayette Park, just outside of the White House.
...
An official confirmed to FOX 5 DC that 110 National Guard members were picking up trash Tuesday at Lafayette Square, the National Mall, and the Tidal Basin.

Hep, take away a bunch of people from their jobs, families and lives in order to set them to work on litter detail. Bet that does wonders for troop morale.

But that's something Generalissimo Bone Spurs has no concept of. To him, they're all suckers and losers for signing up.

Peeoing These Down, Here

This is no shit:

State Terrorism

Israeli forces killed 22 people, including five journalists, in two consecutive strikes on Gaza's largest functioning hospital, drawing global condemnation and prompting a rare admission of regret by the Israeli government.
...
The first strike took place around 10 a.m. when Hussam al-Masri, a cameraman for the Reuters news agency, was operating a live feed with a bird's-eye view of nearby Israeli military positions, including tanks, in the devastated city of Khan Younis in southern Gaza.

A second missile, fired from a tank, slammed into the same spot just minutes later, as rescue workers raced to Masri, with other journalists photographing and filming the aftermath of that initial strike, according to witnesses and footage. At the site, another camera feed for Al-Ghad news channel zoomed in, capturing the moment of the second attack in real time.

Hitting a place, waiting for the first reporters and the press to show up, then hitting again is a classic terrorist tactic, usually practiced with car bombs.

Walk like a terrorist, act like a terrorist, you're a terrorist.

Israel had a lot of justification for its war. But as time has wound on, it's becoming clearer and clearer that the only reason for the war dragging on is that Netanyahu has conflated his political survival with that of Israel itself. He is busy sacrificing the legitimacy of his country for his own political career. The upshot will be that international support for Israel will dwindle to the point of that enjoyed by apartheid South Africa.

What this means for Israel is that the next time they're attacked, a lot of the world will remember what Israel did in this war and say: "It's a shame, but they had it coming to them."

Johnny Roberts and His Calvinball Court

Justice Jackson nailed it by stating that the Supreme Court is playing Calvinball, with one exception.

Calvinball, as you should know, is a game with no rules. That is how the Roberts Court functions: The Consititution, the written law and prior decisions are of no import if any of those hinder the Fascist wing of the Court from acheiving the result that it wants, which is no matter what the issue is, Trump wins.

The Five Fascists all lie down and let Trump wipe his feet on them and the law.

We've crossed into an authoritarian state, thanks, to the Supreme Court and yes, to much of the mainstream press, which has been busily closing its eyes to what Trump has been doing. None of it should have been a suprise to anyone who paid attention to what he said, for years. Hell's Bells, there was even a written and detailed plan. But the press, including the motherfucking New York Times, said, repeatedly: "Oh, that's just Trump being Trump and OMG, Biden's old!"

You work for the New York Times and the WaPo, among others, then this is partially on you. He's doing what he can to crush a free press and you assholes just sat on your hands. His allies are egging him on to bring other critics to heel..

And a friend sends me this, from a prominent crypto bro 2/

[image or embed]

— Paul Krugman (@pkrugman.bsky.social) August 26, 2025 at 8:05 AM

...and do you say anything?

Not that it matters much, now. The Demented Fat Fuck of a Dictator crosses red lines and there's nothing to be done, for now.

If the electorate doesn't turn out and vote out the Trumpists in 2026, then we're prtty much done as a free country. The celebrations of the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence will be hollow, as we've been busy throwing away almost everything that they fought for.

Except, of course, slavery. Which I presume is somewhere on Trump and the Heritage Foundation's dance card.

And no, I haven't forgotten the complicity of the Democrats, who tried mostly to wish away 1/6/21 as a bad dream and did little to bring the architects of that to justice. I haven't forgotten the spineless Republicans who stood aside and just hoped that the Democrats and the courts would solve their problem for them. But that's a post for another time.

Karma's a Motherfucking Bitch; Tesla Ed.

Billionaire Elon Musk’s electric vehicle company Tesla rejected a $60 million settlement proposal in a lawsuit over the 2019 fatal crash of an Autopilot-equipped Model S before a jury this month awarded a $243 million verdict in the case.

Lawyers for the plaintiffs disclosed the settlement proposal in a filing, opens new tab on Monday in the federal court in Miami, Florida, as part of a request for legal fees from Tesla.

Cry me a fucking river, Elon. For you just have to know that he personally kiboshed a settlement.

Fucking Around and Finding Out

An investigation is underway after two men wearing ski masks and claiming to be police were shot and killed at a home in southeast Houston Friday night, according to the Houston Police Department.

HPD said this happened around 11 p.m. at a home on Bellnole Drive, which is off Ahrens Street near Galveston Road.

The homeowner told police the two men said they were police and claimed they were at the home to serve a warrant.

"[The homeowner] became suspicious, because, you know, they have a ring camera too, and the suspects were saying they had a warrant, but it was just two people and they're masked up and no police cars, no lights or anything like that," said Lt. Khan with HPD.

At some point, police said the men shot at the homeowner through the door, prompting the homeowner to return fire.

The bad guys were taking a page from those ICEstapo assholes, only this time, their victim waxed their fucking asses.

Cracker Barrel, Get a Grip

Cracker Barrel was founded in September of 1969. In other words, after men had already walked on the Moon.

So don't tell me that it's some iconic, classic outfit.

But it's fun to see the MAGAidiots twist themselves into knots.

Putin's Poodles in D.C. Keep Helping Russian Aggression

The Pentagon has for months been blocking Ukraine from using U.S.-made long-range missiles to strike inside Russia, limiting Kyiv’s ability to hit targets deep behind enemy lines, The Wall Street Journal reported, citing U.S. officials.

A high-level approval process, kept under wraps until now, has prevented Ukraine from firing Army Tactical Missile Systems (ATACMS) against Russian territory since late spring. On at least one occasion, Ukraine sought clearance to use ATACMS but was denied, two officials told the paper.

The Demented Mango, the Couch Fucker Petey Kegstand always seem to do what they can to have Putin's back.

Fucking With ICE

One woman has an idea:

You can order them here.

JD Vance is Dumber Than a Box of Hammers; His Schools Should Revoke His Degrees

On Meet the Press, the Faux-Hillbilly Couch-Fucker said this: <br />

If you go back to World War II, if you go back to World War I, if you go back to every major conflict in human history, they all end with some kind of negotiation.

Oh, really.

OK, WWI technically ended by negotiation, in a one-sided treaty that was brought about because the German army was pretty much broken and the home front was increasingly in revolt.

Vance is a tool and not the sharpest one in the box.

Your Sunday Morning Prop Noise

Ops in Ireland.

Dumping American Software, Plus Putin's European Poodles

Hard on the heels of concerns about a killswitch in F-35s, Europeans are now worried about digital sovereignty.

Denmark's Minister of Digitalization, Caroline Stage, has announced that the Danish government will start moving away from Microsoft Office to LibreOffice. Why? It's not because open-source is better, although I would argue that it is, but because Denmark wants to claim "digital sovereignty." In the States, you probably haven't heard that phrase, but in the European Union, digital sovereignty is a big deal and getting bigger.

They didn't worry much about it before. But with Brain-Rotting Mangolini as our president, the U.S. has become an unreliable ally, if not an adversarial state, to European countries. It makes eminent sense for them to reduce reliance on American technological services. The article didn't mention Amazon's cloud service, but you can bet heavily that's also being eyed to be replaced.

Pissing off a bloc of about 350 million people in mostly-wealthy nations isn't smart business. But that's what this Administration, helmed by a dementia case with the impulse control of a toddler, is doing.

Also, some of Putin's useful idiots are squawking about being affected by the war:

Russian oil supplies to Hungary and Slovakia could be suspended for at least five days after a Ukrainian strike on a facility in Russia, Hungarian and Slovakian officials said on Aug 22, in a widening of the fallout of Russia’s war in Ukraine.
...
EU members Slovakia and Hungary have maintained relations with Russian President Vladimir Putin and opposed sanctions against Russia that Ukraine says are vital to make Moscow drop unacceptable war demands. They also oppose the phase-out of Russian energy supplies via the Druzhba pipeline.

Awww, the Quisling Caucus in the EU isn't happy. Cue the violins.

Caturday

Chip is in kitty jail to preclude an escape attempt.

I Remember When Conservatives Were Bellyaching About "Government Motors"

President Donald Trump said that Intel has agreed to give the U.S. government a 10% stake in its business.

Speaking with reporters on Friday, Trump said the deal came out of a meeting last week with Intel CEO Lip Bu Tan — which came days after the president called for Tan to resign over his past ties to China.

“I said, I think it would be good having the United States as your partner,” Trump said. “He agreed, and they’ve agreed to do it.”

So now a far-right authoritarian wannabee is going in for state-owned enterprises.

And they call my side "socialistic". If Obama had forced Intel to cough up 10% of its shares to the USG, the Tea Party loons would have been protesting with their AR-15s, again. (H/T)

Because It's Friday

Guess Which Has Upset MAGA the Most? (plus more grifting of the faithful)

Changing Cracker Barrel's logo or Trump's continuing refusal to release the Epstein files?

Guess which?

Meanwhile, both the Orange Turd and Wifey #3's memecoins have done a good job at grifting the MAGA Morons.

Trump’s Nobel is Possible

If he got Russia to end its war on Ukraine and withdraw from all conquered territory, including Crimea, he'd be a shoo-in for the Peace Prize.

Other than that, not so much.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, 459, Silent Alarm, Suspect There Now

I took a Model 14 and a Model 15 to the range today.

The show used Model 14s for the first three seasons and Model 15s for the last four. These don't have custom grips.

On a sad note, I finally burned through the last of the Winchester White Box .38s that I bought when Walmart was running clearance sales before ceasing the sale of pistol ammunition.

Toting These Down, Here

The Level of Treason and Subservience to Russia Accelerates in the Trump Administration

First, there is symbolic:

US special envoy Steve Witkoff delivered a Russian medal to the grieving family of an American who was killed fighting for Russia in 2024, a senior administration official told CNN.

Imagine an American serving in the Luftwaffe being killed during the Battle of Britain. Imagine Hitler awarding the dead guy the Iron Cross and having Charles Lindberg hand-deliver it. That's the level of pro-Russian, anti-Western animus propelling our government these days.

Meanwhile, Russia's favorite American woman is busily neutering our intelligence community.

Every GOP senator is complicit in Trump's treason. And so is every person who voted for him. You clowns could successfully plead ignorance of who and what he is in 2016, but the only way you didn't know in 2024 was because of willful iggnorance.

Pirro Welcomes Militias to D.C.

Federal prosecutors in Washington, D.C. have been directed not to pursue felony charges against people caught carrying rifles or shotguns in the city, a dramatic departure from long-standing practice. The instruction, confirmed by US Attorney Jeanine Pirro in an email obtained by The Washington Post, follows guidance from the Justice Department and its solicitor general.

It does sound as though she's signalling that they're looking for another stupid punk-ass kid like Rittenhouse.

Fox News: All Trump's Lies, All the Time

One of the defamation cases is uncovering how much and how often Fox News in service of Trump. Their main function is to catapult the propaganda in favor of whatever the Rotten Mango is doing.

If you know someone who watches Fox, then you know that they either like being lied to or they are just gullible.

Trump Whitewashes Slavery

President Donald Trump on Tuesday confirmed the White House is conducting a review of the Smithsonian museums and expressed frustration over their portrayal of dark parts of America's history, including slavery.

"The Smithsonian is OUT OF CONTROL, where everything discussed is how horrible our Country is, how bad Slavery was, and how unaccomplished the downtrodden have been -- Nothing about Success, nothing about Brightness, nothing about the Future," Trump wrote on his social media platform.

He seems to be one of those right-wing morons who think that the slaves enjoyed being whipped and raped. It's the same shit that one might expect, as he honors traitors.

Meanwhile, Avaricious McRapeyman seems to now be wondering if he can buy his way into Heaven after a lifetime of evil deeds.

Crapping These Down, Here

It's always projection with the Trump clan. 

They accuse people of doing what they're doing (and haven't been caught yet).