Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, January 1, 2024

They Must Think That Consumers Are Idiots

This is the product:

This is the warning label:

That's right! A can of peanuts might contain peanuts! A can of peanuts was filled by machinery that might have touched peanuts.

Who knew?

I'm sorry, but if you need to be told that a can of peanuts contains peanuts, etc., then you really should seek professional help.

13 comments:

danielbarger said...

They think most consumers are idiots because many, perhaps most are idiots. Why else print a warning on shampoo to NOT DRINK IT.

Stewart Dean said...

For those that haven't, take a gander at:
http://notalwaysright.com

Plenty of people who either don't have the intelligence of toaster oven or haven't developed what wits they have....and the customer service people who get to smile courteously at them when they do things like asking the sun to set over the ocean....on the East coast.

seafury said...

Excuse me I have a peanut allergy. are these OK to eat?

JustMusing said...

Are these labels actually funny? I was mostly incredulous that such warnings might be needed.

Such as, "Don't check your gas tank level with an open flame."

https://www.rd.com/list/funny-warning-labels/

pigpen51 said...

I don't know if they think consumers are idiots, but we do pay for a 30 ounce of mayonnaise which used to be a quart. And for the air in any bag of potato chips.
Or the same thing for coffee. You cannot buy a 3 pound can of coffee now. The manufactures have thing all figured out.
Human nature complains about things, but we then go ahead and buy their products. Maybe we are idiots.

B said...

Thank the courts for things like this.
They didn't dismiss cases when people sued over stupid shit.

Plus, I think maybe some from the FDA labeling laws.

CenterPuke88 said...

I think that the label may well be necessary. In Colorado, the MAGA faithful are plotting a write in campaign…apparently no one read the option, which enjoins the CO Secretary of State from counting any write in vote for TOFF either.

DGC said...

There was a website called The Consumerist that called reducing the size of products the grocery shrink ray. When they would ask the makers what it was always "Our consumer research revealed that people wanted our product in a more convenient size". Nice huh?

I do know, though, that you're not paying for the air in a potato chip bag. The air in the bag is because the chips are essentially blown in and the air acts as a cushion so the chips aren't crushed in transport. I used to design packaging equipment so I know this. If the bag says 2 oz., it's 2 oz +/- .1 oz.

dan gerene said...

B, I do believe you are right. Many years ago I heard that they have to put warning labels on walk-behind rotary mowers not try to use as hedge trimmers because some fool did and won a judgement against the lawn mower manufacturer. Don't know if true or not but "Remove pizza from box before eating" is a classic. Another one was the person who sued a motor-home company years ago because the driver set the cruise control and went back to make lunch. No self-driving vehicles back then.

DGC said...

Dan, the lawn mower and the cruise control stories are urban legends as are many of the examples of people doing stupid things, hurting themselves, and suing. They serve the campaign to keep people who really are hurt from getting their day in court. "Remove pizza from box before eating" is, I suspect a joke.

Sikhandtake Rakhuvar said...

The warning about 'containing peanuts' might just be boilerplate mandated by their legal dept, in case of idiots (both customers and jury members).

Relative to idiots in general, bell curve, folks. The bigger the sample, the more likely that epic-grade stupid shows up at the edges. See Frangela's weekly podcast "Idiot of the Week" for a sampling.

Frank Wilhoit said...

You jest, but the regulatory regime has been dismantled. There is, under present conditions, no particular reason to believe that a container that is labelled as containing X actually contains X. This perhaps applies with special force to pharmaceuticals originating in India, but it applies across the board.

Unknown said...

@pigpen51: "And for the air in any bag of potato chips."

That is done deliberately, in oder to produce shippable bags of potato chips that don't arrive as potato chip crumbs.

The rest is 'shrinkflation' where they count on us buying things by cost a 'jar of mayonnaise' instead of, say, bulk mayonnaiose by the ounce. It's their way of raising prices without making it obvious. Also stores have to post cost-per-unit on thier shelf tags, although that get to be a fun exercise in small math and unit conversion

And the warning on the label is boilerplate and gets stuck on any label for any product produced in that factory.