Yeah, I know. The Universe is vast and it's not going to bother with shit like that. But it still feels like it.
I have made no secret about the fact that I have been having a hard time dealing with Jake's passing. Last night, I opted to sort of get lost in the fictional portrayals of other folks' lives and problems, so I began watching stuff from my DVR.
One of the shows was Madam Secretary. At the end of the episode, she got the news that her beloved horse, Buttercup, had cancer that had metastasized. There's only one choice and she made it, but she wanted to spend the last day with her horse. Yeah, that hurt.
It's not just Jake. Earth-Bound Mom is having some medical issues that have yet to be nailed down. It feels as though one of the anchors in my life is pulling loose and there is fuck-all to be done about it. I know that I should be thankful for the great gift I've had of having my mom in my life for so long, but that's not making it any easier.
I've got friends and family. I'll get through all of this.
It’s Usually The Rich That Behave Poorly
27 minutes ago
5 comments:
Yes, eb, you will get through it...wish we could be around to take you out to dinner.
Good taste in TV, btw...that show is a monument amid rubble.
I was faced with the anchor reality when I took my mother's car keys away from her a few years ago. She lived another three or four years (passing in '14 at 95). My father had died in '95 as well as my younger brother, so the key event had a lot of isolation to it. And that's exactly the word. Even though she would still be around for the foreseeable future, I told my bride I felt like I didn't have any backup guidance in my life any more (bride notwithstanding--she understood).
Even though I'd been living as an adult for over fifty years, and with thirty years of professional decision making in my history, there had always a "responsible adult" to whom I could turn just to make sure I was doing life right. The car key decision was a threshold I'd crossed. It was a strange feeling.
In the big picture, though, it was merely symbolic. Just like that first solo, you're going to be all right and you'll keep doing what you've been doing. Tempus fugit, though.
LRod
ZJX, ORD, ZAU retired
I got a big hug for you and a boat load of good wishes. Life just gets sucky sometimes and I am sorry it's your turn. Wish I could give you that hug in person.
w3ski
LRod, I've been lucky in one regard: Mom gave up her car of her own volition.
Steph, That is sad news indeed. During a long life with critters we come to love and lose to age and other mishaps, it never gets easier. Eventually the pain fades and is replaced with treasured memories. But it takes longer than we expect and is much too painful.
The time comes when a new furry being comes into our lives and the cycle begins again.
Let's hope that's sooner rather than later.
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