Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Monday, December 16, 2013

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee (and a few other famous defenses)


I have a bit of a bug. A pretty nasty one. I'm contemplating getting off the couch to make a cup of coffee. Or clean the litterbox. Or reading the paper. Or going to work. None of them sound appealing. A nap sounds better. I'm glad I have a separate keyboard for this laptop, as even it feels heavy.

I remember reading about some other famous legal defenses. You now know about "affluenza" and the "twinkie" defense is also (in)famous. There is the "Sumdood" defense, of which, the most common variant is the "SumBlackDood". That variant was used in the murder of Carol DiMaiti by her husband. There is the "Toyota Justification" defense ("he asked for it, he got it [Toyota]"). And the old classic, the "Six-Point" defense ("My. Client. Did. Not. Do. It.")

Back to bed, I think.

4 comments:

Old NFO said...

I'm now waiting for the 'poorenza' defense... sigh

Comrade Misfit said...

Probably won't happen, they'd have to find a shrink who'd work for free. Buying that kind of opinion takes real money.

Borepatch said...

Wonder what defense General Clapper would use (assuming they ever prosecuted him). "Your Honor, I'm lying as little as I can"?

Comrade Misfit said...

Good question. The "I Vas Chust Followink Orders, Mein Herr" defense has been overused. So I imagine that Jimmie the Perjurer's lawyers are working on it.