Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, June 26, 2014

World Cup Report

Sorry, can't do it. I fell asleep of boredom, just trying to read about it.

Watching it would have been fatal.

4 comments:

BadTux said...

The sport needs more cannibals.

If I wanted to watch a bunch of guys run around for 90 minutes and not score, I'd go to the bar. Let's make them wear boxing gloves and allow them to punch each other (but not the ball). We can call it socxing.

That said, if I had kids, I'd totally want them to play soccer. Playing soccer for a couple hours a day for weeks at a time gets them so frickin' fit that they'd have to be into cigarettes and heroin and eat nothing but potato chips to be unhealthy. But man, as a spectator sport vs being a participant, soccer is total fail...

Joe said...

The Algeria-Russia match was decided by somebody shining a laser into the Russian goalkeepers eyes during a penalty kick. I never watch the games, but reading about them afterward is endlessly fascinating.

Mike R said...

Geez Bad Tux that was clever but hard on me, having my morning toast and nearly choked.

Deadstick said...

This could go down in history as the day EB agreed with Ann Coulter...

http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2014-06-25.html