Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

"Flying the Airplane is More Important than Radioing Your Plight to a Person on the Ground
Who is Incapable of Understanding or Doing Anything About It." -- Unknown

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level
and then beat you with experience.” -- Mark Twain

"John Wick didn't kill all those people because they broke his toaster." -MickAK

"Everything is easy if somebody else is the one doing it." -- Me

"What the hell is an `Aluminum Falcon'?" -- Emperor Palpatine

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Welcome Aboard, Sailor! Now Blow in That There Tube, Piss In This Here Cup, and Spread Them Ass Cheeks!

The Navy is planning to conduct breathanalyis tests on everyone reporting aboard ship for duty. Each and every frakking duty day.

If I was a sailor, I'd be pissed off each and every time that I had to blow into that stupid machine. I bet that the ships' Senior Watch Officers are going to be tickled pink of having to station extra people on the Quarterdeck to conduct the breath screenings. It's be a lot of laughs when thirty sailors come running aboard fifteen seconds before liberty expires and they all need to run through the Breathalyser before going below to changing into the aquaflage working uniform.

No doubt some clown in Ft. Fumble thinks that this is a good idea. I can't see it doing much for morale and retention, but that's just me.


Bartender Cabbie said...

Ridiculous. I was at the hungover every time we got underway for patrol (unless I had duty the night before). More than once I was still a bit hammered. Getting trashed on liberty is a time honored naval tradition.

bearsense said...

Agree on the "Aquaflage." Every time I see one I wonder .......

IllanoyGal said...

I checked out your original post on Navy uniforms over the years and found that you had missed one of my "favorites". When I joined the Navy Nurse Corps in March 1960, among the uniforms issued to us was a seersucker gray dress. Don't remember its official name but it was one ugly piece of material. Never did wear it except while in training at Newport as we wore white nurses uniforms on duty. IIRC it was replaced a few months later by "Summer Blues"(?). I believe I still have one of those things packed away either in my cedar chest or one of the trunks out in the storage area of the carport. Ahh, those were the days. :-D

Comrade Misfit said...

IllanoyGirl, I found a photo of that uniform, so I'll be updating that post.

CenterPuke88 said...

Comrade, you're missing the inevitable false readings. Even allowing for the miniscule rate of false positive results alone, an estimated 15-25% of readings provide higher than actual results (not false positives, but .08 vs a real .06 or such) and the machine reliability depends on (but not limited to); calibration, air blank pre-testing, operators, hemocrit levels, machine temperature, subject observation, subject behavior, and repeat testing.

A simple thing like eating, drinking, and/or belching within 15 minutes before testing can cause a positive. Even using mouthwash or such can cause a positive for a short period. This just means that somebody, somewhere, is gonna get run for a false reading (those that don't believe that can research Carlos DeLuna, and see how Texas railroaded an innocent man into the death chamber in 1989) simply because of the sheer numbers involved.

Nangleator said...

Boy, just imagine all those admirals in the Pentagon getting drug tested every single day. Such discipline! But that's the only way they can demonstrate to the lower ranks how important this new program is, right? They wouldn't require it only of their subordinates, right?

Otherwise, it would be like the treasonous commanders in WWI that knew of parachutes, but wouldn't let our pilots wear them, because they assumed that our pilots were as craven and cowardly as they themselves were.

The New York Crank said...

I know this is wandering a bit off the topic trail, but as I was scanning down this page I noticed this:


What is it, a breathalyzer readout?

Yours most crankily,
The New York Crank

Comrade Misfit said...

It's advice to the spammers that their efforts will be immediately deleted.