Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Monday, November 22, 2010

Only a Few Innocent People Are Gunned Down by Police Officers,
Only a Few People Die in Medical Mistakes

Those would seem to be the analogies to TSA Administrator Pistole, who argued that only a few people end up being molested by TSA agents. Which is pretty cold comfort to those who end up being groped by a squad of TSA agents.

Al Qaeda has shown that they do not have to cause any physical damage or hurt a soul in order to provoke the Federal government into costly countermeasures. All they have to do is sneak a guy onto an airplane with some PETN; he doesn't have to blow it up, just get caught. The DBP will do the rest.

(TSA cartoons)

3 comments:

BadTux said...

And only a few altar boys are molested by Catholic priests... so leave the Catholic Church alone!

I still think Osama bin Laden is sitting in a cave somewhere laughing hysterically. "Let's send somebody on a plane with some explosives in his shoe! They'll make everybody go onto the plane barefoot then!" "Good one, Akmed, but what if we put the explosives in his *underwear*, they'll make passengers go into the airplanes *naked*!" At which point they all fall over laughing.

At this rate we're gonna kill al Qaeda by depriving them of air by making them laugh so hard long before we catch any real terrorist (as vs. those poor stupid deluded fools they've been sending onto airplanes with explosives hidden in bizarre places). I wonder what's next -- explosive teeth? Will we all have to open our mouth and say "AHHHHH!!!!" before boarding a jet? I can already see Osama bin Laden rolling around his cave, laughing hysterically at the very thought, confident in the fact that the TSA will always do exactly what he wants them to do -- thereby relieving him of the need to, like, actually do anything other than sit in his plush man-cave in Islamabad enjoying life.

- Badtux the Terrorized(*) Penguin
(* by thought of having to get rectal exam to board aircraft if that's next place bin Ladens' crew stuffs some boomex)

The New York Crank said...

Well, consider these ways to fight the Official Feelup:

1. As the TSA molester begins to touch you, start moaning with pleasure. And then, "Yes, yes! More, more more! I love it! Yes, touch me there again!!"

Or alternatively, and also very loudly, declare:

2. "No, I'm sorry, I know I should feel flattered, but I don't give blow jobs." [or cunnilingus if it's a female searcher.]

That should discourage 'em!

Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank

BadTux said...

Cranky, they're already discouraged -- as I pointed out on my own blog, the "training" they received consisted of two hours of watching a movie and having the technique demonstrated to them by a trainer, with a certificate handed to them at the end, and now they're required to touch people's junk? They're not happy, not happy at all.

The problem is that even though they're discouraged, they feel they must follow orders, because if they don't... what? They have to get real jobs rather than a job where they have to touch people's junk? At least the German concentration camp guards had the excuse that they'd be jailed (at the very least) if they didn't do their jobs and march inmates into the gas chambers. The hapless TSA "screeners" have no such excuse.

- Badtux the Pointed Penguin