Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Blog Disclaimer and Caution Label

Nothing in this or any other post on this blog shall be construed in any way, shape or form as legal advice, technical advice, relationship advice or any other form of advice or hints or any shit like that whatsoever. The author of this blog reserves the unlimited right to point and laugh at anybody who does or says anything because of what was written in this blog. 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willis said...

Reads like my health care policy except at least you seem to be ok with pre-existing conditions

Marc said...

Breathing *is* a pre-existing condition....not breathing is the preferred status by most health care insurers.

Pat said...

How about, Drinking large quanities of alcohol may cause you to forget how ignorant the human species is for a short period of time. Followed by the, Hangovers will cause you to wonder why the fuck you bothered to even try.

Phil said...

Dadgummit, proof reading can be helpful.

This reminded me of the warning on my Snap On screwdrivers.
"Do not use as a prybar or chisel".
Why is that necessary?

If ya use it as a prybar, the next time you want to use it as a chisel, it's bent.

This post is a perfect example why I swing by here a couple times a day.Except yesterday, I was busy getting hammered.

Pull pin,throw, run away.
This side towards enemy.

Some things just have to be explained to people.


Comrade Misfit said...

Nice one from Snap-On, BN, it's in there, now.

Phil said...

How did this one get left out?
" Call your doctor if your erection lasts over four hours"!

Double bonus, my confirmation word is PERMO.


Rehctaw said...

Send before midnight tonight.

Deposits made after 2 p.m. will be credited on the next business day.

Styles may vary.

Plus shipping & handling.


Not responsible for lost or stolen property.

Close cover before striking.

Do not over inflate.

Not to be worn for protection.

Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.

Comrade Misfit said...


Sknaht, eorm wef a dedda I.

Anonymous said...

Hey, wait a minute. If I have an erection around for four hours I'm happy as heck. He might be having problems, though! Opps,yeah, Busted said to come over here and to be nice, sorry. I forget, did it have the one about supositories not to be taken orally?

Anonymous said...

Sorry if it's there and I missed it, but how 'bout "No shoes, no shirt, no service"?

And while at it,

"No exit"?

Sarah said...

Do not play in or around!

--dumpsters everywhere.

Seriously, EBM, I am glad this is cut&pasted. I'd be worried about a nascent OCD/substance abuse problem.... :)

Comrade Misfit said...

Sarah, anyone who knows me will testify that I'm not OCD about anything.

Sarah said...

Ha! Good to know. I hope said testimony is never required in court.

Old NFO said...


JohnMXL said...

What about "Do not taunt happy fun ball." and "Do not look at laser with remaining eye."

dinthebeast said...

Aww, c'mon, I'm 53 and my eyesight is way too poor to read this with my safety goggles on.

-Doug in Oakland

Old NFO said...

LOL, you are TRULY on a roll! :-) Well done!

OldAFSarge said...


I am seriously considering misappropriating this.