Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Sunday, May 20, 2018

I Am So Going to See This Movie

The Happytime Murders

(WARNING! This trailer is NSFW or small kids.)

Posted by on or about 23:00
Labels:

3 comments:

B said...

Holy fuck, once it started I just couldn't look away....

And I'd just started my first cup of coffee....

MY day is shot.

5/21/2018 7:22 AM
Snowdog said...

My brain hurts after seeing that.

5/21/2018 9:49 PM
The New York Crank said...

About 25 years ago, I did a proposal for a novel in which Ken and Barbie get divorced. They're dolls in the book, but also they're people. And they both get royally screwed over by matrimonial lawyers.

My agent said great, we'll sell a million copies!

Really, I asked.

Sure, he said. Mattel will sue us for copyright infringement, and the publicity will sell the books.

I opted out. Getting into into a law suit with a company as big as Mattel is like playing Russian roulette when the only other player knows which chamber contains the bullet. About a dozen publishers opted out as well, before I pulled the book.

Then, in 2004, the real Barbie (the doll) and the real Ken got a divorce. Or so Mattel decided.

Moral: You can't make anything up any more.

Yours crankily
The New York Crank

8/06/2018 8:31 PM

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