Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

New Security Measures at Bass Pro Shops?

From an email:
Gun Control has already started at Bass Pro Shops Sporting Goods.

When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets at my local Bass Pro Shop, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still do not think I looked that bad.

3 comments:

D. said...

*cackle*

This must go to the repository of misunderstanding in which lives "Man to genie in sweet shop: 'Make me a malted.'"

The New York Crank said...

Should the cashier be arrested for demanding an obscene performance?

Only asking

Crankily,
The New York Crank

Joe said...

Didn't know that was illegal in New York.