Orange Felon Can't Tell Me What to Do

Words of Advice:

DONALD TRUMP IS A CONVICTED FELON. CASE CLOSED.

"America, where we restrict access to vaccines and healthcare, but you can have all the guns you want." -- Stonekettle

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

If something sounds good in your head, don't let it come out of your mouth.

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Tear Gas Tastes Like Fascism." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

Karma may sometimes be late to arrive.
But it never loses an address.

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

You, Too, Can Buy and Drive Your Own Personal Apollo 1

A Tesla Cybertruck owner in Texas was unable to escape after rolling it into a ditch last year, experiencing an unthinkable demise as the batteries powering the $100,000 stainless steel SUV burst into flames with such intensity the helpless driver's skeletal system literally disintegrated, his family says.
...
On April 25, 2024, [Michael] Sheehan purchased a brand-new Cybertruck from a Tesla showroom in the Houston suburb of Cypress, Texas, according to his family’s complaint, which was filed June 13 in Harris County District Court.

Just 102 days later, the complaint says Sheehan was driving home when the Cybertruck “left the road” and struck a large concrete culvert, after which the vehicle’s “hyper volatile” battery system went into “thermal runaway” – a chain reaction of short-circuits ultimately resulting in uncontrollable temperature escalation – and caught fire.

Once power was lost, it was impossible for Sheehan to open the Cybertruck’s electrically operated doors in the normal way, the complaint goes on, highlighting a major issue that has similarly doomed others riding in Teslas. The external door handles also failed to work, and the emergency manual door release handles within the Cybertruck are “unreasonably difficult to locate in an emergency,” the complaint states.

Someone else said that "Apollo 1 mode" comes standard with Cybertrucks, so as much as I'd like to take credit for that snark, I can't.

If you bought one, you might want to consider parking it until you can find some other sucker to burden it with.

1 comment:

Eck! said...

Anyone still driving a burstfire 1 after the last few months is stupid
beyond belief. THere have been enough news stores about fires
and other issues that driving one is an act of laughing at death.

Not only is the battery a risk, the large amount of aluminum in the chassis and other structures once hot enough ignites and burns
extremely hot.

They should win their suit on the merits of the escape system is
not well thought out and unknown if it actually works.


Eck!