Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Thursday, May 1, 2008

People, People, People. Manners. Discretion. Please!

I left Ye Olde Salte Mine a little early today for a medical consult at a large practice. Lots of chairs in the waiting room (most unoccupied), TV blaring out some mindless show from the Disney Channel, stale magazines scattered about. You know the scene.

So I'm waiting and drilling with some of my home-made Russian flashcards. There was a guy there for a pre-operative physical. I know this because he was on his cell phone to his surgeon's office. He explained to the persons on the other end of the line (there must have been several for he went through his schtick a few times) that he was (a) waiting for his pre-op physical; (b) he was being operated on next week; (c) the detailed specifics of what kind of cutting they were doing on him; and (d) that he needed their fax number so the docs could fax the results to the cutter.

Mister Oblivious was still on his cell phone when they called him into the back to see the doctor. This guy is going to need an operation one of these days to remove the cell phone that someone will have so considerately shoved up his ass.

2 comments:

BadTux said...

Even more annoying are the folks who have hands-free setups, especially those tiny little bluetooth ones. So you're sitting, and suddenly someone starts talking to you about his anal warts. Then he starts talking as if you answered him. And you're squirming in your seat looking all around trying to figure out a way to get away from this madman, and then... he turns his head a little, and you see the teeny Bluetooth thingy sticking out from under his hair and can settle back to being merely annoyed rather than start looking for the guys in white coats to come get this loonie before he finishes cracking and hurts someone...

Ruins a penguin's day, I tell ya. And if the cell phone ought to be shoved up the asshole's ass, that little bluetooth thingy most *definitely* needs to go up one of his nostrils, no matter how much said nostril has to be stretched to accept it...

- Badtux the Sometimes-annoyed Penguin

BobG said...

They have a nickname for people who go around with a Bluetooth in their ear all day: Bluetools.