Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"Thou Shalt Get Sidetracked by Bullshit, Every Goddamned Time." -- The Ghoul

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck,
"FOFF" = Felonious Old Fat Fuck,
"COFF" = Convicted Old Felonious Fool,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset,
A/K/A P01135809, A/K/A Dementia Donnie, A/K/A Felon^34,
A/K/A Dolt-45, A/K/A Don Snoreleone

Monday, April 29, 2019

Why On Earth Would Anyone Buy This Shit

Soylent. Why would anyone even think of using that name for a brand?




I've seen their products in stores. It's just baffling to me that some chuckleheads, probably with an MBA or two, thought that using the name "soylent" was a good idea.

Of course, it's been 46 years since Soylent Green came out. maybe they figured that few would connect the name with a fictional company that made food bars from human corpses.

5 comments:

Dark Avenger said...

It contains the electrolytes plants crave!

The New York Crank said...

Please tell me this is some kind of an elaborate practical joke.

On the other hand, maybe, as the slogan tells us, the stuff really is people.

Yours not hungrily,
The New York Crank

bmq215 said...

Believe it or not the name actually seems to work pretty well. The tongue-in-cheek reference makes it memorable and their target market (young software devs) appreciates the somewhat dark humor.

Personally I enjoy eating and can't fathom wanting to reduce it to as efficient an operation as possible but my friends in Silicon Valley tell me the stuff is quite popular.

Nangleator said...

I suppose we could model a product based on the slurry made of the dead injected into the veins of the living from the first Matrix movie.

But, to be fair, it's probably just a wealthy family's first steps at popularizing cannibalism for some future endeavor where a socially-altered society would be necessary to properly monetize their planned product.

0_0 said...

Really?
It's soylent, not soylent green. Soy is a major ingredient.
It's not trying to be the next mass market success. One person wondered whether he could get a day's food value (nutrients, calories, protein, whatever), looked it up, bought a blender, and got to work.
It takes surprisingly little to keep you going all day. And it minimizes unhealthy stuff you take in.
I lost some weight (it isn't supposed to be a weight loss shake) but didn't feel hungry. But it gets boring quickly. I use it mostly for breakfast enroute to work (at 0515).
I'm neither young nor a software engineer, but I do think the name is kinda funny.