Tuesday, November 13, 2012

NOOOOOOOooooooooo!

No coffee??!!!1!!??
Forget about super-sizing into the trenta a few years from now: Starbucks is warning of a threat to world coffee supply because of climate change. ... The company is now preparing for the possibility of a serious threat to global supplies.
Now, if the only threat was to that bitter burnt shit that Starbucks sells, I'd not care. But obviously, Seattle Swill is made by the company and has little to do with the actual coffee beans.

Can it get worse? You betcha! No chocolate!!
It looks as though climate change is going to take a bite out of chocolate production, according to a new study by scientists at CIAT. ... The cocoa report predicts a one-degree Celsius temperature rise by 2030, increasing to 2.3 degrees Celsius by 2050. This is enough to inhibit the development of cocoa pods, which could send yields crashing and prices soaring.
If this happens, you might not want to live to see it, especially if you were a climate-change denier. You could wind up hanging from a lamp-post.

(H/T)

5 comments:

  1. By the time coffee trees are gone, they will have genetically modified huckleberry bushes to take their place. Or maybe mooseberry bushes even.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lemme see, so by 2070 it 'might' be an issue??? I'll be long gone :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I plan to live long enough for the nanobot rejuvenation therapies to be perfected, so I plan to be around to be able to kvetch about $500/lb coffee.

      Delete
  3. So start growing coffee and chocolate farther north!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey Montag,

    By 2030 genetically-altered coffee won't be an issue any more, since genetically-modified people will be able to stay awake just by pouring chicken fat into their own bellybuttons.

    Crankily yours,
    The New York Crank

    ReplyDelete

House Rules #1, #2 and #6 apply to all comments. Rule #3 also applies to political comments.

In short, don't be a jackass. THIS MEANS YOU!
If you never see your comments posted, see Rule #7.

All comments must be on point and address either the points raised in the blog post or points raised by commenters in response.
Any comments that drift off onto other topics are subject to deletion.

(Please don't feed the trolls.)

中國詞不評論,冒抹除的風險。僅英語。

COMMENT MODERATION IS IN EFFECT UFN. This means that if you are an insulting dick, nobody will ever see it.