Thursday, April 5, 2018

Truth in Satire

President* Donald Trump has declared a state of emergency on the U.S. border with Mexico and is deploying thousands of National Guard troops there to masturbate, eat MREs, and play with personal knives, sources confirmed today.

The soldiers will also be tasked with playing card games and generating PowerPoint briefing slides for generals in Washington, according to defense officials, who added the slides will likely lead to questions of overall government capacity on counter-narcotics operations and DEA/SOUTHCOM institutional dynamics, as if they give a shit about any of it.
I am not certain, though, how Trump's order works. He can't order the National Guard to do anything related to law enforcement. But the state governors can, because unless a Guard unit is "federalized", they obey the orders of the governor.

More to the point of the worry of the Pentagon is the fact that soldiers are not cops. Their job, when it comes to guns, is to go places, break things, and kill people. That's what soldiers do. In a civil setting, as was found nearly fifty years ago, shit can go sideways when soldiers are used for police functions.

Given Spanky's bellicosity, it's possible that if he insists on the Guard troops conducting armed patrols, that the Mexicans will deploy armed troops to watch. It takes very little thought to realize that may not go so well.

But rational thought is one thing that nobody has ever accused Spanky of doing.

UPDATE: As I suspected, Trump can't order jack-shit in regards to the Guard. He has to ask the governors. At least one has said "no".

4 comments:

  1. Oregon said no.

    Not much of porous border that folks from Mexico and points south are entering over.

    Not much of an example. AFAIK, Oregon hasn't been asked to send troops.

    Besides which, Oregon's government is pretty much Left Wing. So anything they could to stick a finger into Trumps eye, they will do. Petty, really.

    Having said that, I too think that the Guard being on the border is foolish. I said so when Bush did it, then again when Barry did it. Wrong folks with the wrong mission.

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  2. B, your brave defense of the Pussy-Grabber in Chief is noted. Don’t remember you showing the same respect to Obama, I meant Barry, when he was in office.A

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  3. If you look, I said it was a foolish idea to have the Guard on the border at all, no matter which president does it. Try taking off those Hate-Colored Glasses once in a while....the view is clearer.

    Since you use "Donnie" and "Shrub" I get to use "Barry".

    ReplyDelete
  4. But here's another kicker. Because of Sheriff Jerkhole of Maricopa County, Arizona, there's now a Supreme Court ruling saying that states can't enforce Federal immigration law. They can only stop suspects on reasonable suspicion of committing a *state* crime, and state laws regarding immigration were invalidated because apparently the Constitution prohibits states from setting up their own customs and border patrols.

    So what are these Guardsmen under state authority going to be able to do when a dozen unauthorized immigrants are spotted approaching the border from the south? Well, they'll be able to watch them march right past the National Guard as the Guardsmen are on the phone calling the Border Patrol, that's what. Because under the law, that's *all* they can do if they suspect that someone is illegal but have no state crime to enforce -- call the Border Patrol. Dear Leader's fantasy of them setting up machine gun nests to gun down packs of illegals swarming the border is just that -- a fantasy.

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