Snark Would Be Superfluous

GRAND BLANC TOWNSHIP, MI -- A Grand Blanc-area garage was reduced to a pile of ashes this evening after a homeowner attempted to use fireworks to remove a bees' nest from the building, fire officials said. ..."The homeowner was doing something with a smoke bomb trying to get a bees nest out of the garage," said Grand Blanc Fire Chief, Bob Burdette.

I'm guessing that there will soon be a label on fireworks that reads, in part, "Not To Be Used For Pest Control."

Meanwhile, in Florida:

A Jacksonville man accidentally shot himself in the penis early Friday morning when he sat on a gun in the driver's seat of his car, police said.

Seems that ol' Dickless has prior felony conviction, so after he gets treated, he may face charges for being a felon-in-possession.

On the other hand, the authorities might conclude that he was punished enough, as it is. Five to ten years in stir, being laughed at every day, could be seen as adding insult to injury.