The Army is Trying to Help Soldiers Adjust to Civilian Life

By classroom training.

The Soldier To Civilian Work Program (SCWP) is designed to help soldiers assess their skills and help them get a head-start into the civilian world.

Lieutenant General Thomas Bostick believes this is an important step to help military members transition from the battlefield into the office.

“Many soldiers leave the Army with no idea of how to fill out a résumé, or even how to behave in a job interview. Our goal with the SCWP is to teach these soldiers that on your list of previous experiences, it’s not okay to put ‘Hadji Killing 08-10.’”

Needless to say, some of the soldiers are a bit baffled:

“I went to a mock interview in my best t-shirt that says something like ‘Ranger the Fuck Up.’ The civilians that were hired to do this mock interview told me that I should consider something more classy, like maybe a button up shirt at the least. My shirt collection includes a ‘Beards Save Lives‘ shirt, but I don’t even own a button up. Who knew that was important?”

Some are, as you might expect, resistant to the Army's efforts to help them:

When asked if he’d even tried the program, Smith said, “Yeah I tried that shit, but they said that for job experience on my résumé I can’t put ‘Major League Infidel,’ or even ‘I shot lots of machineguns.’ It’s ridiculous man, I DID shoot lots of machineguns!”

The general in charge was showing a little frustration at that kind of attitude:“If these retards can’t get it through their thick skulls that McDonald’s doesn’t care how many weapon systems you’re qualified on, then I don’t know what else to try.”