In the Real World, This Is Called "Extortion"

Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL) has put an extraordinary "blanket hold" on at least 70 nominations President Obama has sent to the Senate, according to multiple reports this evening. The hold means no nominations can move forward unless Senate Democrats can secure a 60-member cloture vote to break it, or until Shelby lifts the hold.

Because the spoiled little corrupt fuck is not getting his way.

According to the report, Shelby is holding Obama's nominees hostage until a pair of lucrative programs that would send billions in taxpayer dollars to his home state get back on track.

In the real world, Shelby would be wearing a a figure-flattering orange jumpsuit, accessorized with shackles and shower shoes, and he would be standing in front of a judge who was setting Shelby's bail at about ten gazillion dollars.

UPDATE: The White House is firing back at Shelby:

Roberts Gibbs, the White House press secretary, sharply criticized Mr. Shelby’s actions, calling it the best instance yet for how Washington is broken. “I guess if you needed one example of what’s wrong with this town, it might be that one senator can hold up 70 qualified individuals to make government work better because he didn’t get his earmarks,” Mr. Gibbs told reporters today. “If that’s not the poster child for how this town needs to change the way it works, I fear there won’t be a greater example of silliness throughout the entire year of 2010.”

UPDATE II: John Cole points out that Shelby has a long track record of defending and promoting the interests of foreign corporations at the expense of American workers. Shelby's little stunt is to ensure that $100 billion in taxpayers' money is paid out to foreign corporations, which no doubt are lavishly rewarding Shelby's campaign fund.

UPDATE III: Via Balloon Juice, Shelby's ransom note.

Fuck Shelby. And fuck Alabama.