Thursday, February 19, 2009

"Why I Voted Republican"

Feel free to add to the list.
Because I believe we *really* are a monarchy, not a democracy and that the President should have the powers of a King.

Because the idea of bombing Iran makes me salivate like a bitch in heat.

Because I believe the Constitution is just a goddamn piece of paper.

Because the rule of force trumps the rule of law.

Because we need more poor people.

Because an obese drug addict with a radio show told me to.

Because I *love* catchy phrases like "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" and "BRING 'EM ON."

Because clean air is so darn overrated.

Because the thought of torturing people brings me close to orgasm.

Because "habeus corpus" was dreamed up by a bunch of men wearing tights.

Because unadulterated prescription drugs are not important to me.

Because I think my chances of getting salmonella are very low.

Because visiting those national monuments *should* include seeing the wonders of mechanization that those oil well rigs represent and the patches of dirty crude broken and discarded pipe enhance the experience, too.

5 comments:

  1. Because Jeebus died for me and his daddy speaks to me directly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Because facts are for liberal weaklings.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Because when I finally get wealth and power I damned well aim to keep it forever.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So, how long have we had a Democratic majority in the Senate and House, and why have they not gotten rig of the "Patriot" Act? 'Splain me dat? Veto? That worry is gone and still, nothing.

    Sorry, your guy is more of the same with different chrome.

    ReplyDelete
  5. And how many years did it take Dubya to screw things up? Seems to me that anybody who has ever wrenched on anything knows that it is easier to screw things up than it is to make things right.

    ReplyDelete

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